Slam: a Voice Poem

On my deathbed, memories'll stir;
Miami born & raised, catholic Cuban family,
My mom's voice is home, safe & familiar,
While my father's a mystery, an untold story.
The youngest of 4, & I still feel like an only child.

Midnight blue draws me, French tunes entice me;
Aged vinyl records sooth my soul
While ignorance inflames my rage.
The roaring 20s, a time that shoulda' been mine,
Italy & France, I'll finally have met.

Bette Davis, legend of the silver screen;
Voice soft yet commanding, beauty not traditional,
Passion for the craft, always present.
A fear of giving up, will be something of my past.

A voice that began as a yellow star,
Then morphed into triangular red,
To now, a maroon circle, never-ending change.
Even in death, nothing is destroyed,
For hope of a phase 2 lingers in this dying brain.

As the finish line is approached I'll anxiously wait
The confirmation from a voice, of my warm cremation.
And as my eyes close for the last time, like in old classic movies,
Words'll appear, humongous and in cursive,
To sign: "The End".

The Penultimate

The end of the year is already less than 48 hours away. Can you believe it? It seems like just a few weeks ago we were ringing in 2011 ... and now we're getting ready for 2012. Insane.

With the end of 2011 amongst us brings the end of this blog. 350 Posts later & 4 years of writing on this blog (and 2 more writing on my previous, more personal, blog) it's kinda strange that I won't be doing it anymore. As I said in a earlier post, I don't find the beauty and intimacy of writing on an online journal the way I do with a handwritten one. I've started writing in a leather bound notebook and it's been absolutely wonderful. In that book I can write everything out, no holding back whatsoever. With an online journal I run the risk of someone I know stumbling upon it and finding things out I probably don't want them to know about me; and if I'm going to write in a journal, it should be 100% honest and 100% me in the writings. I hold myself back too much with this blog.

It has been, however, really nice to capture events and thoughts all these years. I'm sure I will come back and look through old posts to see what I was up to in 2009, 2008, 2007 ... and so on. In my very first blog (which I will not disclose here because that one has even MORE personal stuff on it), dates back to 2005, just when I was about to graduate from high school. I went back and read all of my fears of graduating and going out "into the real world".

I think everyone should write in a journal. It's so therapeutic and a nice feeling to go back and see what you were like in the past, what you were thinking & feeling. It's good to write all out of your emotions, your dreams, and fears and see how much one changes through out the years.

Well, that is the end of my words. Tomorrow I will post my final post, a voice poem that I wrote this semester that I had to read in front of the entire class which ultimately brought me to tears. It brought me to tears because, though the words may come off as cryptic, behind them are stories I've lived and felt through out my life.

I think it an appropriate way to close this blog.

Until then, happy new year & be kind to one another.
Xoxo,
Albert a.k.a. ThespAC

Dancing in Strobes of Light

Wow, last night was fun!

I went to pick up one of the girls from my theater department on campus before heading over to the house where the party was being held. When we got there, and spent a good 5 minutes looking for the actual townhouse and probably another 5 looking for a visitor parking, we entered a house filled with fog and lots of pretty lasers and strobe lights.

The girl and I apparently were one of the first ones to arrive along with a small group of guys that were friends of the hostess and her husband. We went up to the second floor to listen to the first "Catfoot" song - which, by the way, was pretty weird yet funny all at the same time - and then went back downstairs and grabbed something to drink to wait and see if any one else from the theater department showed up, since the rest of the people arriving were friends of the hosts (not related to theater). The whole thing was basically a "release party" for the sequel to the first Catfoot song. The song would be played for the first time to the "public" at midnight sharp.

So after a while people we knew started showing up and then things got a lot more fun because it wasn't just the girl I picked up and me standing awkwardly sipping from our cups. When midnight arrived the song was played and it was pretty cool and very "epic-journey-like" ... if that makes any sense. The music was good; the lyrics, however, were bizarre, LOL. The song lasted for about 10 minutes, maybe? All I know is that the song itself had a brief intermission and the lyrics (which the hosts printed and passed out to anyone wanting to read from it while the song played) was double sided! No one could read them anyway because it was so dark and green lasers and red strobe lights were flying everywhere. It literally felt like we were in some night club.

Anyway, the night was pretty fun. I loved spending time with my theater peeps and I actually even danced all night with them! The mood was so mellow and while I did feel awkward dancing to hip hop (oh dear) and other kinds of music, I didn't care of looking like an idiot. I was having fun and no one was paying attention to the dancing anyway so I decided to let loose.

I got home around 4:30 in the morning. Hopefully there will be more of this sort of thing in the future, but filled with my theater class so it's more fun and more mellow :)

Party

Tonight I am doing the unthinkable: I'm being social.

I'm going to attend a little get-together party thing at the house of a girl from the theater department. Her and her husband are throwing a little shindig called Catfoot 2 Release party. I'm still not really sure what this is but I've come to the conclusion that it's a song she and her husband recorded. I'm not sure, I'm just going to go so I can see some of my classmates that I bonded with this semester. As much as I hate having to be too social, I gotta make an effort. I can't go through life being solo. Gotta build some connections and friendships - no matter how painful and strenuous it seems!

The party, according to the Facebook Event's page, begins at 9pm and goes to 4am (??!!). Um, yeah, I'm only going to be there till midnight, 1am the latest before I dip and head home. I'm not into parties, but I am definitely into the idea of hanging out with friends, going for coffee, a movie, or making it a movie night at someone's home. But parties? Meh, I just don't think I was made for them.

It's December 27th and the end of this blog is almost near! Eep! The sadness is beginning to settle in.

Christmas Day

Merry Christmas!

Last night I went to my family's annual Christmas Eve party. It was pretty nice, not boring like it's grown to be the past few years. Now that I think of it though I probably found it to be a lot more fun because I actually had a few drinks. About 2 cups (yes, plastic cups) of wine, and 2 beers. I am such a light weight, folks, because I was TIPSY with those drinks. I didn't even drink them quickly and I had a buzz that came with a headache. My body is just not used to drinking anymore. I've grown weak!

This year my Secret Santa was my brother. As a joke, he gave me this:



But then he gave me my actual gift which consisted of a pair of jeans from Old Navy and a really nice shirt from Macy's that, unfortunately, didn't fit me because it's a Medium. I hope they can find one just like it in Small.

Well guys, December 31st will be the last day I post on this blog. It's almost over!

Chispita

Lately my cat has taken to hanging out in my room again. It's been quite some time since she used to do this.

Weekend Relaxation

It's officially Christmas break. Kubrick has allowed us to have a break this weekend since he is also finishing up his own show that he directed and starring himself. He specifically asked all of us not to work on anything this weekend pertaining to the Vibrator play: no character analysis, no memorizing, NOTHING. Since I have no work this upcoming week, just rehearsals, I gladly accepted his instructions and will not feel guilty that I'm not memorizing this weekend. I'll have plenty of time to do that after rehearsals this week since I'll be home.

Did I mention in the previous post that I'm going to refer to him as "Kubrick"? I'm too lazy to check but yes, I am going to refer to the director as Kubrick. He's given each of us names so why shouldn't I give him one too? He said he is going to call me Alan something, because it is the name of a highly known medium or something. He is convinced that I and my character Mr. Daldry are spiritual beings because of an action exercise he gave all of us to do. I chose to do an action where I was holding a cross and hovering it over papers I was scribbling on, sorta like how scrying was done on that TV show Charmed. My intention behind all of this was that I find a security and release when I write, he took it as something mystical and magical and filled with spirituality that he is sure Mr. Daldry now is. I sorta like that idea. He instructed me to find some sort of medallion, that isn't a cross, so I can hold it as Mr. Daldry in the show whenever he enters a room. "He uses it to check the energy of the room, the spirits of the people."

Did I mention I love working with this man even though I'm TERRIFIED of him?

It's like working with Stanley Kubrick

Well my rehearsals for the Vibrator play have begun. I must say that this is already quite the interesting experience. Our director is extremely demanding and has made it clear that he is going to push each and every one of us. He intimidates the hell out of me because he is very direct and very rough. He is very aware of what he wants and has a specific vision that he so meticulously wants to achieve.

At the beginning I dreaded having been cast in this but I quickly began to remind myself how much I've always wanted to work with amazing directors - who are & have been notorious for torturing their actors -such as Kubrick (RIP) and Lars Von Trier but who always have come out with an extraordinary product at the end of it all. So I've told myself to suck it up and just act like I'm working for Stanley Kubrick.

This director has given us the craziest exercises to warm up before rehearsing. Exercises that included crazy dances that are straight from tribal ceremonies and other stuff like that. When he gives us instructions he stops us and makes us do it 50 times until he sees what he wants. It doesn't matter how much time we spend on that one little thing. This has happened and we haven't even began with the blocking of the show! This has all been just with the warm up exercises! I also think he seems to have it out for me but not in a negative way, I've come to accept that he is only doing this and being rough with me in order to HELP ME bring the best of my talent. So I'm not going to bitch too much about it. I'm terrified of working with him but at the same time I can't help but feel excited.

Before I sign off from this blog, a little quick update on the return of my quad-helix/expander. It's back in. Thankfully this time it isn't bothering my tongue as much as it did the second time it was cemented in. I have noticed my gums and teeth extra sensitive since it was placed back in but I'm assuming that is just because of the teeth that were taken out. It's ok, though, the pain isn't anything I can't handle.

It's almost the end of the month which means the end of this blog. It still hasn't hit me yet.